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Last modified: November 03 2012 12:33:01

Please make sure to read the EXPLANATORY NOTES before reading these reviews.

Alternative stories are designated as such with an [Alt] at the end of the title line.

This file features reviews of stories written by Joanna. For any other fiction by this bard please visit any of the Xena fan fiction indexes.

The Conqueror would undoubtedly KILL Joanna in an excruciatingly painful way if she suspected just how much fun our parodist-extraordinaire had with her person in this story so lets none of us inform the Conqueror about this heresy and keep Joanna alive and well so she can continue to make us laugh. Meanwhile, sit back, keep those drinks away from any important computer parts, and enjoy this somewhat...different treatment of the Conqueror as her Supreme Heinousness attends to her noon crucifixion, never suspecting that she's about to go up against the mighty Abs of Redemption and some REALLY bad Beach Boys' jokes. An absolutely WICKED treat for our funny bones, this one comes VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 10 pgs., 6/27/00

**BITTER TREAT by Joanna - [Alt]
The most talked about skit of the year is finally here! An ALL-MUSICAL follow-up to Joanna's MATERNAL MISTAKES that will leave you unable to ever look at a Certs with a straight face again ;-) Join the warrior and bard as they travel to the land of Delusia, deconstruct their relationship in a shocking FOOD FIGHT! - then fight to rediscover that tender subtext between them! Along for the ride once again is a decidedly depressed Poteidaian CHORUS along with all of the grrls' love interests, enemies, and enemies which want to be love interests! ;-) Featuring a TRULY unforgettable score, this is a skit of epic proportions guaranteed to leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside - maybe a little hoarse too if you sing along :) Proof positive that our bards are every bit as talented...and demented as the Xenastaff, BITTER TREAT is one of the best things to have ever hit fanfic. It receives my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION! - 30 pgs., 2/16/98
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

This new offering by one of our most beloved master parodist comes JUST in time for those of us still reeling from the events in THE DELIVERER. If you're feeling angsty about the new season or even if you're not - DO NOT MISS THIS PARODY!!! This will make your day, your week, and probably your year! It is set after the events in DELIVERER and has the Warrior Princess and Gabrielle sitting around a campfire, worrying about the recent MAJOR change in the bard's life. HILARIOUS does not even come close to describing this! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 4 pgs., 10/27/97

**COMING OUT SERIES by Joanna: [Read in the order listed here]
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

I. **COMING OUT by Joanna -- [Alt]
Joanna has given us some wonderful parodies in the past but with THE INCIDENT and now this new one, she definitely "comes out" herself as a master parodist. This hilarious little skit is clever beyond words with some of the funniest lines I've ever read in XWP fan fic. It has the Warrior Princess and Gabrielle returning to Potidaea for a visit during which the bard plans to tell her family the truth about her relationship with Xena. Making things somewhat of a challenge, are the family's continued reverence of Gabby's late hubby and the neighbors' ever-present commentaries on all the going-ons. The Potidaean CHORUS is the best thing to happen to XWP fan fic in a loooong time. Brilliant! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 7 pgs., 6/9/97
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

II. **COMING OUT - PART DEUX by Joanna -- [Alt]
This is the second in what is certain to become a classic series of parodies in XWP fan fic. If you haven't yet read Joanna's first entry in the series, COMING OUT, do your funny bone the favor of a lifetime and check it out. Having talked with Gabrielle's family about their relationship in that first story, here the Warrior Princess and her bard travel to Amphipolis to break the news to Xena's family. Following them and seemingly joined at the hip with Xena and Gab, is THE CHORUS - those OH so talented, pesky Potidaean neighbors who simply insist on making things a bit for everyone they come across. This is a gem that is NOT TO BE MISSED!! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 8 pgs., 6/16/97
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

III. **COMING OUT - THE WEDDING by Joanna -- [Alt]
The anxiously awaited third installment in Joanna's brilliant COMING OUT series is here at last...and boy was it worth the wait! Yes - the big day has arrived! Having "come out" to their families, Xena and the bard are ready to get hitched. Now you are all cordially invited to the WILDEST, the zaniest, the most incredible nuptials you have EVER attended. Join Herc, Autolycus, the Amazons, a certain blonde warlord, Salmoneous, Ares, a couple of surprise guests from the Xenastaff and of course, the most happening CHORUS this side of Mount Olympus, for the Wedding of a lifetime! I PITY YOU IF YOU MISS THIS!! VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 8 pgs., 6/18/97
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

IV. **COMING OUT - THE RECEPTION by Joanna -- [Alt]
The fourth entry in Joanna's BRILLIANTLY hilarious COMING OUT series! Join Xena and "Chimpycheeks" along with their families, friends, neighbors, AND enemies as they all celebrate the union of warrior and bard. See Callisto putting the moves on the Xenastaff, learn about Ephiny's new love interest, watch as the Warrior Princess downs a few too many and of course - rejoice as THE CHORUS makes this affair an unforgettable one!! As with previous installments in this series - your funny bone will be hurting when you finish but it should get back in shape just in time for THE HONEYMOON >:) A MUST READ!! - 12 pgs., 6/21/97
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

V. **COMING OUT - THE HONEYMOON by Joanna -- [Alt]
The fifth and final installment in this comedy saga is now available! Hitched at last and having escaped their reception without injury, Xena and Gab get ready for some quality time together in a honeymoon suite - just them, the bellhop and, of course, THE CHORUS! - all leading up to an explosive conclusions ;-) VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 10 pgs., 6/23/97
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

**DEAD, MY ASH! by Joanna - [Alt]
In the past six years Joanna's parodies have made the best of XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS even better and have seen us through some of the worse that TV series has had to offer. This new effort succeeds handily in the latter endeavor as it puts a slightly different spin on the last few minutes of those series enders. As Joanna tells it, Gabrielle isn't quite ready to surrender the Warrior Princess to a bunch of greedy souls demanding grace. Only the warrior seems as equally determined to appease those souls, changing her usually intimidating warrior cry to something a tad...different in hopes of scaring her partner. After a fierce little contest of wills, the souls are on their way to true TV immortality and a one-time bard is enjoying her new hero status just a bit...much ;-) That funny bone will be getting plenty of exercise from this delightful new gem in Joanna's priceless parody collection. It almost makes suffering through those enders worthwhile...almost ;-) HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 6 pgs., 7/7/01

**DEBIT (THE) by Joanna -- [Alt]
Joanna continues dulling the pain of the recent rift we are seeing in the TV series with some of the FUNNIEST parodies ever written in XWP fan fiction. This latest one should prove particularly popular with the librarians among us although it's guaranteed to tickle ALL funny bones regardless of profession. The story has Xena receiving a message from the "Quiet One Who Shushes With First Finger". Determined to help her long lost mentor - the Librarian - Xena heads for the land of Rus with Gabrielle in tow. Before long the bard will become intimately acquainted with a mud turtle, Xena will experience hurt without comfort and both our heroines will find themselves facing a despot who insist on payment of all overdue fines!! This is simply PRICELESS folks! A most welcome reprieve from the agony of reruns. VERY HIGHLY RECOMENDED!! - 4 pgs., 12/8/97
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

The queen of parodies is back with a takeoff on the film FARGO that is gonna have you feeling unusually relaxed as the warrior and bard protect a village from a warlord named Dave. Trust me - you've never seen Xena quite this layed back before ;-) Very cute. Should particularly appeal to fans of the films. - 8 pgs., 1/9/99, re-released 3/11/01

FIVE WINTERS LATER by Joanna - [Alt]
A story about how Xena and Gabrielle deal with "challenges" to their happy union five winters after they make it official. Cute :) - 7 pgs., 8/2/98, re-released 3/11/01

This NEEDS to be REQUIRED reading for EVERY Xenite after a viewing of the episode GABRIELLE'S HOPE!!! HYSTERICAL does not even come close to describing this guys! If we have a sketch like this to look forward to after each of the rift episodes, THEN I WANT A LONGER RIFT!!! In fact, we could just have a couple of seasons worth of rifts!! Set after the events in GH, this has our innocent little bard and a slightly CLUELESS Warrior Princess "discovering" an abandoned baby girl floating down the river in a basket. While Xena is then wondering how they can find the missing parents, Gabrielle is busy bonding with the little tyke...and trying to keep her from eating bloody hearts before dinner. Keep all liquids away from the keyboard for this one and get your sides ready because they are going to HURT!!! VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 6 pgs., 11/2/97

HEROES (A COP Parody) by Joanna
This is what happens when you watch too much bad TV ;-) Joanna allows us a look at a typical mission for Xena and Gabrielle as seen through the lens of a jerky camera. You'll pant right along with our heroines throughout this - new experience for many of you I'm sure. Cute :) - 7 pgs., 2/2/99, re-released 3/11/01

**HONEYMOON (THE) by Joanna - [See the


Xena: Warrior Princess meets existential Swedish cinema. What can I say? ;-) An introspective, death-obsessed study of the complex, fatalistic relationship between a warrior and bard. Other than that - nice black and white cinematography and VERY, VERY, VERY funny :) [Note: Features subtitles] HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! -- 3 pgs., 8/10/98, re-released 4/01

**INCIDENT (THE) by Joanna -- [Alt]
I really would LOVE for Lucy Lawless to read this piece of fan fiction. In light of the recent tribulations she's had in her life, I think this wonderful little skit would bring a smile to those baby blues. Joanna has our two fearless heroines, Xena and the Gabster of course, paying a visit to a certain actress named Lucy Lawless who is feeling a little down over a recent, embarrassing incident involving the American anthem. Although somewhat distracted by the wonder of infomercials, the warrior and her bard bring the entire incident into perspective for Lucy - and hopefully for ALL of us too. THIS IS A MUST READ!! - 9 pgs., 5/18/97

MATING GAME (THE) by Joanna - [Alt]
Our very own mistress of mayhem is back with a new parody certain to! >:) Determined to make sure his widow finds happiness, Perdicus orchestrates a little Mating Game to help Gabrielle choose that perfect match. Among the contestants? - A dark and deadly ex-warlord, a fish ;-) and...THE CHORUS!!! Yeap - those riming darlings are back and intent on enticing one not-so-innocent bard into polygamy! For one of the most interesting views of the Xenaverse around, reading Joanna is simply a MUST! Check on that funny bone insurance policy and run to this one. DO NOT MISS! - 11 pgs., 12/7/98, re-released 3/11/01
[Palm Pilot version available at XENA FAN FICTION FOR THE PALM PILOT]

Once again as she's done so many times this season - Joanna comes through in a clutch - bringing us another OUTSTANDING little sketch to soothe the agony of all these rift episodes. First we got the CHANGING OF THE BARD, then GABRIELLE'S HOPELESS and that epic of epics...THE DEBIT. Now in MATERNAL MISTAKES Joanna illustrates the deep agony both Xena and Gabrielle are feeling as they sit at separate campfires. Just when it looks as if things couldn't get worse, out pop those beloved escapees from Joanna's COMING OUT SERIES - the Poteidaian CHORUS!!! - determined to use their VAST musical and rhyming skills to bring about a reconciliation between warrior and bard! Will Xena and Gab ever share a campfire again? Can Xena keep herself from permanently "disbanding" the Poteidaian CHORUS? ...Will the bard EVER get a nicely roasted marshmallow?! 8-| As it attempts to answer these crucial questions, MATERNAL MISTAKES will likely do some serious damage to your funny bone but hey - it's the best free psychotherapy all of us frustrated fans are likely to get!! This is a MUST READ guys! VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! [Note: Includes references to subtext. See also BITTER TREAT in the alt. section] - 9 pgs., 2/16/98


Take this warning VERY VERY seriously - keep ALL drinks away from that keyboard when you're reading this - or be prepared for a quick trip to the computer store ;-) An absolutely HYSTERICAL look at the moments right after the events in SACRIFICE II - as a frustrated Xena tries to get her bard back and a VERY determined God of War "impedes" her efforts. One of Joanna's best to date. VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! - 6 pgs., 8/2/98, re-released 4/01

We've seen uber stories set in other time periods, other countries, heck even other planets - now Joanna expands that ever-popular genre with one featuring...other species ;-) Yes this is the story of Xree and Gree - two trees in a forest (really :) brought together by fate and a fervent desire for cross pollination. It is the story also of Xree's quest for redemption as the once feared perennial now devotes herself to saving foliage and inspiring - swollen buds >:) PRICELESS does not even come close to describing this little gem - just be warned that after reading this you're gonna be thinking up plant jokes for HOURS! It's contagious I tell YOU!! This is the latest addition to a collection of sketches by this bard that really needs to be required reading for any serious fanfic reader - you wont be serious for LONG!!! ;-) VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! - 3 pgs., 10/20/98, 3/11/01

**WEDDING (THE) by Joanna - [See the COMING OUT SERIES]

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